literature

'The Appeal of Fantasy'

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“The Appeal of Fantasy”
By Jay Richard


     The genre of “fantasy” is a popular staple in the literary community. Fantasy stories offer an escape from reality, allowing the reader to focus on something other than the mundane. The real world and everyday life can be boring, so imaginative settings filled with magic and supernatural forces have obvious appeal. Everybody loves a dragon, after all. Then, of course, there is the likely possibility that the Church of Scientology owns and controls the entire genre.

     Before continuing, it may be best to explain what exactly the Church of Scientology is. It is a cult, although it is recommended that this is never uttered in the presence of a Scientologist. The cult believes that an intergalactic dictator ruled this part of the universe about 75 million years ago. The dictator was named either Zenu or Zemu, as the cult’s founder, sci-fi author and papaphobiac L. Ron Hubbard, was never consistent. Zenu/Zemu, for reasons far too complicated to explain, trapped a number of souls (“thetans”) in the Earth. It may be of interest to know that the Earth was known as Teegeeack at the time, a word that has its roots somewhere in L. Ron Hubbard’s Scrabble bag. To make a long and errant story short, a nuclear bomb was detonated, causing all volcanoes on the Earth to erupt and somehow the thetans ended up inside humans. Multiple thetans now live in each human being and our primary goal in life is to rediscover the thetans and their past lives. The best way to remove these excess thetans is to become involved in a pyramid-shaped program and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars.

     To spread their message of thetan-realization coupled with the dual joys of radiation exposure and spending outrageous sums of money, the Scientologists have created numerous organizations. These groups are remarkably diversified and tend to be reluctant to publicly admit their links to the Church of Scientology, even if the affiliation is a known and proven fact. Organizations connected to Scientology include Narconon (drug rehabilitation and education centers), the online game Neopets (or at least its CEO) and a small cult called Avatar. Numerous courses and books on Scientology are sold in a panhandling fashion. Most people probably first heard of Scientology when a Scientologist annoyed him or her at a mall.

     This is where fantasy books become part of the bigger picture. To make people remember their thetans’ past lives, fantasy books are filled with stories that took place millions of years ago in a galaxy far, far away. If the Scientologists imagine a universe where souls can be grabbed by an invisible beam and boxed away for storage only to be shown movies afterwards, then surely it is no surprise that this same universe is populated by dragons and wizards. Every fantasy novel, movie, role playing game (RPG) and even coloring book is a reference to the past as the Scientologists see it. The belief is that by showing people images of these fantastic worlds, their memories will be triggered and they will immediately convert to Scientology and hand over their money.

     It is through Scientology’s seemingly countless connections that the fantasy genre has become popular. If all the conspiracy theories are to be believed, then the Scientologists control most television channels, movie distribution companies, book stores and possible even the color of the grass. With that much media influence, the Scientologists must surely have more control over what the average American believes is “cool” than even MTV does. With their innumerable media outlets and possibly even mind-controlling radio wave towers disguised as cell phone transmitters, the Scientologists have made us all love fantasy books, games and movies.

     If the beloved Neopets is apparently connected to Scientology, is it surprising that so are fantasy novels? It would not be particularly shocking if someone found evidence that the Scientologists controlled the Democrats, the Republicans and a few random Greens. One could find proof that the Nation of Islam, grated cheese, the New York Yankees, Dilbert and Wheaties support the Scientologists if one tried hard enough. Consider this to be a deranged version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.”

     To any Scientologists that I may have offended, I have this to say: in the words of Kurt Cobain, “all apologies.” I beseech the Scientologists reading this essay not to be overly insulted or feel compelled to imprison me against my will like they have done with dozens of other people. Because, when it comes down to it, what would a suicidal rock idol from the early- to mid-1990’s do?


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Bibliography

Melton, J. Gordon. The Church of Scientology (Studies in Contemporary Religions). Salt Lake City: Signature Books. 2000.

Nirvana (Cobain, Grohl and Novoselic). "All Apologies." In Utero. Geffen Records. 1993.

Owen, Chris. Narconon Exposed. 20 June 04. 26 Feb 05.

Wallis, Roy. The Road to Total Freedom: A Sociological Analysis of Scientology. New York: Columbia University Press. 1977.

——. “Fantasy.” Fourth definition. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English  Language. Fourth Edition. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. 2000.

——. “Panhandle.” The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. Fourth Edition. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. 2000.

——. “Papaphobia.” Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary. Chicago: MICRA. 1996.

——. “Scientology.” Webster's New Millennium Dictionary of English. Preview Edition. Los Angeles: Lexico Publishing Group. 2003.
You know all of those conspiracy theories as to how Scientology is evil or controls some corporation? Well....

[This is an essay I somehow got an A on. I just got the paper back about an hour ago, actually. For this deviation, I've edited out the parenthetical citations and gotten rid of some similar stuff. Basically, this is so it's easier to read. I have a habit of citing a lot, so it can get annoying for people to read my essays. I still list my sources at the end, however.]
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